Quoting Post Archived Topic: It will not be bumped to the top of the forum. Topic What to do... Membername   Not a member? Sign Up Free (takes 20 seconds) Password   Forgotten your password? Post Font: Verdana Arial Black Georgia Comic Sans Impact   Size: Tiny Normal Big Huge   Color: Default Dark Red Red Orange Brown Green Olive Cyan Blue Dark Blue Indigo Black [ Check Spelling ] [ Post Preview ] [ LiveTags ] Quote: from [m]kaylaisabadgerface[/m] at 12:48 am on Dec. 28, 2006[quote]Alright. I have a major confession that I need to tell my parents. I'm bisexual and I dont know how to tell my mom. I know that she will probably be more understanding than my dad, but I know that they will be so disappointed in me when, and or, if I tell them. I feel so bad because I have hidden it from them for so long, but I'm not sure on how to break it to them. They are like homophobes, and it bothers me. I have friends who are bisexual/lesbian and when my rents found out about them, they went insane. They kept telling me that they would freak out if I ever turned out to be gay. I was the entire time, but I didn't know how to tell them. Anyone got any ideas? This may seem really dumb to some of you, but I would really appreciate a little help...[/quote] FAQ Keyword Search: Post Options Favorites Manager Notify me of new replies to this topic by email Notify me of new replies to this topic by private message Original Post kaylaisabadgerface Posted at 12:48 am on Dec. 28, 2006 Alright. I have a major confession that I need to tell my parents. I'm bisexual and I dont know how to tell my mom. I know that she will probably be more understanding than my dad, but I know that they will be so disappointed in me when, and or, if I tell them. I feel so bad because I have hidden it from them for so long, but I'm not sure on how to break it to them. They are like homophobes, and it bothers me. I have friends who are bisexual/lesbian and when my rents found out about them, they went insane. They kept telling me that they would freak out if I ever turned out to be gay. I was the entire time, but I didn't know how to tell them. Anyone got any ideas? This may seem really dumb to some of you, but I would really appreciate a little help...

Replies SimplisticComplexity Posted at 3:03 pm on Dec. 28, 2006 May I ask why you feel the "need" to tell your parents?  I don't know, I think sexuality is sort of a personal thing, and not everybody needs or want to know your sexual orientation.  You are what you are and you should be happy with it, but that doesn't mean that you have to tell your parents, especially if they aren't going to accept it.   However, if you really want to tell them, perhaps writing a letter to them would make it easier on you.  Doing it face-to-face might be intimidating.  Or you can just take your mom aside, and tell her alone, and she can tell your dad.  Just know that no matter how disappointed they might be, they love you and they will get over it.  Of course, you don't have to tell them if you don't want to. country bumpkin Posted at 5:43 am on Dec. 28, 2006 I can't imagine what it'd be like for you but from past experience i'd tell your mum and see how it goes then mabey tackle your dad together. My friend told his parents that he was gay about 7 years ago and his dads response was how much will it cost to fix it... but over time they seem to have accepted each other again it'll take time but it really will work out they'll just find out another way otherwise. good luck :) Poker Shark Posted at 1:13 am on Dec. 28, 2006 dont tell them. Sweet Baby James Posted at 1:01 am on Dec. 28, 2006 Your sexuality is your concern and not theirs. Its different later when you are older and then you are sure of it. For now I will suggest that you keep it to yourself. Jay JWLH Posted at 12:59 am on Dec. 28, 2006 If you know the truth does more damage than good, then why tell it? Seems they can't really handle the truth, so I don't think it would be in your or their best interest that you told them. If anything, keep it to a need to know basis, but otherwise don't tell them until you are older and it doesn't effect you so directly since you are under their care. Lil Miss Blue Eyes Posted at 12:55 am on Dec. 28, 2006 Coming out to your parents can be intimidating and scary. Know that every family is different and there's no sure way of knowing how your parents will react. Generally, most parents go through these stages: shock, denial, guilt, expression of feelings, personal decision-making, true acceptance. This process, however, can take years, and not all parents will ever be accepting. The best way to decide whether or not to talk with your mom is to ask yourself these questions: Are you sure about your sexual orientation? Do you really want to declare it at this point in your life? Are you comfortable with your sexuality? Do you have the support of friends and family? Are you knowledgeable about the challenges that are faced by people who belong to sexual minorities? What's the emotional climate at home? What's your motive for coming out now? Do you have available resources to care for yourself if your parents decide not to because of your sexual identity? Are you financially dependent on your parents? What is your general relationship with your parents? What are their views about sexual orientation? Is coming out your own decision? kaylaisabadgerface Posted at 12:54 am on Dec. 28, 2006 Quote: from NeeshaSays at 12:49 am on Dec. 28, 2006 Well, when you're in public with your folks, see a cute girl and go, "Look at that ass!" I think they'd get the picture. That's one way to do it. Haha. pan Posted at 12:54 am on Dec. 28, 2006 I feel the same way, sort of. I don't give a fuck what my dad would think at all, but my mom... is another thing. I'd like her to know. I just don't know if she's understand or accept it. My family is a little homophobic. =/ On the other hand, I feel that my sexuality isn't their business, and they don't need to know. Don't feel bad for not telling them. Sexuality is... a personal thing. If you really want to tell them then tell them. It might be easier if you wrote it down as a letter or whatever, or you could give them a shock and bring home a girlfriend. ^_^ If they don't like it, if they do freak out then that is essentially their problem. I know it would hurt you that they'd have problems with it, but really if they're too narrow minded to accept their daughter who finds men and women attractive... well bugger them. They'll get over it in time. Rastafarian Posted at 12:52 am on Dec. 28, 2006 Hmm... I've got a friend with much the same problem. It really sucks but just take support in your friends, and what they have to offer. I would suggest taking it really slowly, kind of ease them into you telling them. If they can't handle the fact that you are bi, really that is no fault but their own, and they need to learn to accept you as who you are. One thing I have definately learned is that sexuality does not define your personality, it just defines your sexual preferance. When you tell them try and explain to them that you are still their baby girl. Just make the blow of telling them as soft as possible, such as telling your mom first since it seems she would most likely take it easier then your dad. I can understand how this is really hard for you, as I said I've got a buddy going through almost the exact same thing right now. Good Luck. And feel free to Pm me if you need anyone to talk to. kaylaisabadgerface Posted at 12:52 am on Dec. 28, 2006 Quote: from Akis at 12:50 am on Dec. 28, 2006 Being 'bisexual' doesn't seem like a very 'major' confession to me. If you only knew my parents.... Blasphemous Cow Posted at 12:51 am on Dec. 28, 2006 I, personally, would not tell them. If they can't accept you for who you are, they don't need to know. Akis Posted at 12:50 am on Dec. 28, 2006 Being 'bisexual' doesn't seem like a very 'major' confession to me. Meep123 Posted at 12:50 am on Dec. 28, 2006 If they love you, they will understand. Well maybe not understand, but atleast accept it. NeeshaSays Posted at 12:49 am on Dec. 28, 2006 Well, when you're in public with your folks, see a cute girl and go, "Look at that ass!" I think they'd get the picture. All 14 previous replies displayed.