He's a douchebag that can't respect anyone else's time, space, or silence, and me and my other roommate want him the fuck out of our tiny little room.

What sadistic things can I do him to convince him to leave?

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This signature line is missing and cannot be recovered.
Or is it just camouflaged?!

Seriously though....there is no better way than to talk to him about it. Sadism usually just leads to tension and trouble.

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The beauty of life is, while we cannot undo what is done,
we can see it, understand it, learn from it and change.
So that every new moment is spent not in regret, guilt, fear or anger,
but in wisdom, understanding and love.

If you don't live in the dorms then be a complete ass to him until he moves...or you can just ask him to move out.

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"Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery."

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http://www.des.emory.edu/mfp/annoy.html

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that was quite good

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just draw off inspiration