Going away to college changed a lot for me. I started realizing how hard it is for me to relate to people even more. I realized that the people I went to high school with maybe weren't as bad as I thought and it was just me and my issues with myself that prevented me from forming more strong relationships. At this college, I really can't relate to anyone. It's really conservative and was chosen by my parents. I sort of went along with it since i never had any huge plans of my own for college. I thought maybe it wouldn't be that bad.

I knew from the getgo that I didn't like it. I just can't relate to anyone here and really hate dorm life. I literally feel so uncomfortable and want to cry all the time that I am there. I go home really often. It's almost the end of the semester and I've only stayed here 3 or 4 weekends. I don't like to stay because, even though I have a couple aquaintances, they really only want to party and get drunk and high and I'm not really into partying. Plus, they don't really call me on weekends, I've noticed. Then ask why I go home so much later... I just feel so disconnected. When I'm at school, I miss my family so much. I feel so wrong in the little community and just completely isolated. The days go by so slow and I just count down to when I can go home again.

I've been home for over a week (long story, two day school closing led to me just skipping the entire week). I just feel so isolated even at home just because I feel like maybe it's my fault that I haven't really made any friends because I go home so much. But the thing is, I've found no one that I feel comfortable with or that I can relate to. I think I just chose the completely wrong school for me and it's depressing me so much.

I want to transfer next semester to a school in my hometown and live at home, but my parents get angry when I even hint at it. I feel sort of trapped but the thing is: I honestly don't know if I'll even be happy at home. I think I'll be much happier than I am at school, and it's made me appreciate home much more, but I'm scared that I'll be so jaded that it'll be hard for me to ever leave again.

Some might say to stay and try harder to get to know people, but I think this school is just wrong for me. I'm just...not into the whole small school, small town thing and feel really trapped. Plus, the type of people who go here are not the type of people that I'm drawn to. I've never seen so many McCain supporters in one place before! This just isn't the right college for me but I feel so bad about it because my best friend from home actually loves it and is having a great time and I'm sitting here at my house, just dreading going back.

I just feel really hopeless right now. Like I'll never be happy or something. All this makes it hard to focus on school, because I just hate the social aspect so much.

Thanks

You need to work on all of these things. First of all, confidence. That's a key feature in overcoming shyness, and then raising your self esteem.  
Visit the following links for tips and advice:
Website 1
Website 2
Website 3

All three of the things I listed are linked, and it'd be an idea to try visiting the following links for advice on confidence:
Website 4
Website 5

And for the social anxiety:  
Website 6
Website 7 (A PDF)

I'm not saying you are 100% depressed, but it is a possibility. Your feelings of loneliness, inability to socialise and general unhappiness could be due to depression. In which case, I would urge you to see a doctor and get screened. Depression is a very serious mental state of mind. If you don't get the right sort of help, you'll end up spiraling out of control and become even more unhappy. Act now. Read this post, it gives a lot of great advice about tips on depression and self help.

If you're unhappy going through college, then you need to decide if that's the thing for you. There's no point doing something just because you feel trapped and as though you have to go through the motions of life. If you're not cut out for it, then look to find something more fulfilling. I understand that your parents would not be best pleased, but I'm sure they'd rather see you happy. Right now, they feel that college is the best way to go, as it increases your likelihood of employment as well as developing basic skills, not to say they can be developed else where. But, that's how parents are, generally. Talk to a trusted adult, or see a careers adviser, and find out what you're best suited for.  
You mentioned transferring to a college close to home, but didn't sounded too sure. Perhaps you need to take a break from college altogether and sort your head out and attend a college you feel comfortable with and a surrounding that you feel happy in. Again, I know it would be difficult telling your parents, but you'd be better off attending a college in a right state of mind, so that you can work harder, not to mention be free to meet people of your choice.

However, don't just give up on this college. It is very hard to start all over again. Give it a go, join some clubs that interest you, at least then you can meet people with similar interests.

Good luck.

Post edited at 9:15 pm on Nov. 14, 2008 by Anonymous