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  LiveWire / Teen Forums / Short Stories & Poetry / Viewing Topic

Which version of this poem do you prefer?
the middles are different
Replies: 3Last Post Nov. 20, 2008 3:52pm by mandieelovess
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( bananawhore )


Advisor
Reply
version one:

Somewhere far away
Or not that far at all
In a deep, dark, jungle
Or in the center of soul
The beating of a battle drum
The beating of my heart
Listen to the shrieks of war
Or are those just my thoughts?
One thought still rests in my head.
Who is the enemy?
For this is unclear.
The enemy to be defeated
Is my own self doubt and fear.

version 2:
Somewhere far away
Or not that far at all
In a deep, dark, jungle
Or in the center of soul
The beating of a battle drum
The beating of my heart
Prepare for war
Who is the enemy?
For this is unclear.
The enemy to be defeated
Is my own self doubt and fear.



3:31 pm on Nov. 20, 2008 | Joined Nov. 2008 | 33 Days Active
Join to learn more about bananawhore United States | 125 Posts | 456 Points
hersheyparker


Professional
Reply
first.

-------
Having something to say is overrated.
~Adair Lara

3:38 pm on Nov. 20, 2008 | Joined Aug. 2008 | 91 Days Active
Join to learn more about hersheyparker Pennsylvania, United States | Straight Female | 1613 Posts | 2743 Points
DemolitionxXxLover


Soothsayer
Reply
I like the second one better

-------
i refuse to have a signature

3:45 pm on Nov. 20, 2008 | Joined Aug. 2005 | 340 Days Active
Join to learn more about DemolitionxXxLover New York, United States | Straight Female | 7676 Posts | 12039 Points
mandieelovess


Quality Control Engineer
Reply
numero dos.

-------
"Act on impulse."

3:52 pm on Nov. 20, 2008 | Joined Nov. 2008 | 36 Days Active
Join to learn more about mandieelovess Pennsylvania, United States | Label Free Female | 492 Posts | 946 Points
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