i've been attempting to write a paper since about 3 weeks ago. the paper is due tomorrow. i can't do it. i've gotten a rough draft written out. but that's it. i can't get myself to sit down and type the damn thing down.
i've already broken down and cried, had a full blown panic attack and am actually rocking back and forth in my chair now.
the paper is due tomorrow. i can't talk to my prof about this. for some dumb reason i cannot talk to anyone face to face about any of my problems. (which is why i am here).
i went to see the school counselor about 2 weeks ago. He referred me an ADD specialist. but i didnt tell him about my anxiety issues (because i didnt dare to). I have yet to book an appointment with the specialist because i'm well...scared? wtf. and also, another reason is...i started off in university studying psych. but then i started to feel that many disorders/etc were made up by screwed up people so that they can have an 'excuse' to be screwed up. (i.e i'm the way i am because i have [insert disorder]). and that's how i feel about ADD in general. i don't believe in it. and i can't believe that i might get diagnosed with this.
i've gone 3 nights without sleep because of this damn paper. it's not even long. only about 5 pages.
i just...feel so lost. this has been the worst semester so far...honestly, i feel like such a failure...=|