Then, in the morning, I need to get up at 6:05am usually. I can't do this, I keep pushing it to 6:20, which is too late when I need to be out by 7. Even if I have a later class, I still like to be in by 7.

I lack the motivation to do, way too much. My work gets done too late (9:30ish), and that is if it manages to get done. All of my tests rarely get studied for, because, well..I lack the motivation to do so.

I have to plan this huge meeting for tomorrow, and I haven't started yet. That really is bad. I realize now that, while I am typing this, I should be doing all I am talking about now, but, it isn't working.

I am not sure, at all, what I ask of you to tell me. Telling me to "get on it" or to "turn of your computer" really will not work.

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WANT THOUSANDS OF POINTS?

I think its an itis..... like senioritis.  I dunno, I can relate. But, I always make good grades for some reason.

Meh, message me later if you need some motivation.

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"Though we're strangers till now
We're choosing the path between the stars
I'll leave my love between the stars"
-'As the World Falls Down' Labyrinth

I just get worn out and end up doing everything at the last minute, no matter how important.

I was in all "high" level classes in HS, did the same thing.

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WANT THOUSANDS OF POINTS?

You can choose to go to the store if you need food, or you can choose to put it off until you really do need the food.

The same applies in your situation.

For example planning this meeting. See, you've realized what you need to do. You have isolated the problem. And you have a solution.

All you need now, is implementation.

That's where your problem is. 'How do i get started?' you ask. You just simple, don't want too. I know that feeling.

Right now, i should be re-writing my 15 page analytical paper in order to graduate. Instead I'm talking to you on msn, and replying to your topic. See I've weighed the consequences. I know myself. I know that i will put off re-writing the paper until either the night before, or until i get yelled at. Why is this? Because i lack motivation.

How do i get around this?

Simple.

I mis up my recreation with the paper.

I have to rewrite this long ass paper by this Friday. (Shit....). I have only the first 2 sections, of 8 done. Realistically i could sit down, and get it all done in an hour. But i don't want too, simple as that. I mix up talking to you, other friends, LW, ONES, everything, with my paper. I might work on the paper for about....5 minutes, if that. Then go back to what i was doing. I'll continue this until i get a section done. Then i continue. But now I'm going at a more rapid pace. Simply because it's easier, not as intimidating as it was.

Maybe try that with the meeting you have to plan.

Break it up into sections, spend time on the net, doing whatever it is you do, then....read that section over. Go back to the Internet, then maybe re-read it.

Get the drift?

I think that it's important to mix the two, recreation, with work, when you lack motivation. You look at what you have to do and are like "Damn.....that's a lot...." Then you put it off, and do something else. So, if you do what i said, try to mix the two, the intimidating shit that you have to do, becomes less intimidating.

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Stop talking, or i'll put you back in the trunk.

So maybe this'll help you refine what you see of yourself.

You need a goal, not just any goal, but a goal worthy for your motivated self to be expressed, which is hard to do, very hard in some cases, like me, or perhaps you.

My own self-reflection has led me to believe I am a self-defeating perfectionist, that being if I can't do something difficult perfectly I'd rather not do it at all, as flaws somehow have a tend of blowing up the whole project, or at least I fear that, perhaps irrationally.

It could be called a combined fear of success, and failure. We're so afraid in fact that we'd rather do nothing at all, try to stay inside our comfort-zones which while seeming cosy and nice, I've learned are stagnant pits of self-loathing and depression, mainly because often I find accomplishing nothing makes me feel like I'm wasting my life.

Complications, this obviously leads to a problem. One we come to LiveWire with. How can I, who feels disgusted at my own lack of effort, but is also prohibited by self-defense and protection mechanisms overcome that barrier?
The answer I'd assume is largely personal, I can't just tell you how to get over it, and lead a happy life.

For me though, I had to find something I actually valued enough, valued more than my comfort zone. That one goal, one ideal aspiration in life which I think I'd feel ultimately happy.
I believe I've found that, for myself, you need to find it for yourself.

Now, I'm still going through this process much the same as you are, so I don't know how this will end up, but I know for a fact that I'm gong after my goal. It's a rather stressful conflict sometimes to wrestle with your own inner mechanisms, and it's definately going to change me, don't know how though.

So if you find it, then maybe you can get out there, which will give you confidence to know you CAN do things, even imperfectly, and from then on it's like an upward spiral, or at least that is what I would ultimately hope for, I'm not sure how it will work out in the end, as I said, but it's along the process of becoming self-actualized people.

So... I can hope you can relate to this, and understand and perhaps see where I'm going with this.

If not, my advice or clarification or whatever I just typed could be a load of useless garbage.

Best of luck.

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Danse Macabre.

Ross:
Thank you for replying, you made a connection most cannot make. I'll set goals, and see how that goes. Of course most of it is personal, but thank you for spending the time helping me out. :)

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I've kind of been hoping that I'll just snap out of it. I got a bad grade on an exam and it kind of...I don't know, woke me up a bit. I'm still not as motivated as I once was but it's a start.

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"Under the hardness of her facade a woman's heart is still beating."

You seem to be stuck in a vicious circle, my friend. Ones involving sleep are often hard to get out of. Sleep is our way of recharging and it's very important. You need to start thinking about the long term, and getting that ideal amount of sleep. You will find that your schedule throughout the day will become easier if you do this, due to you feeling better about yourself.

Ideally, you'd want to go to sleep (and actually be asleep) at about 10pm if you have to get up at 6. How does that sound? "Not happening"? No worries. There are a couple of tricks to it.

If you're using anything like caffeine late at night, don't. It's a total killer of good (if any) sleep. Also, you'd want to make sure that you don't drink to much of anything late at night, including alcohol, soft drinks or even water. If you go to sleep with a full gut, you'll need to go to the toilet throughout the night. A little is ok, too much isn't.

Eating a lot late at night will make you feel full too. It's a good idea to have a light meal at night, earlier on if possible. When you go to sleep you shouldn't feel hungry or full. Just keep on top of it, and it'll be alright.

The basic premise is that when you go to sleep, you are relaxed and comfortable. I realise that that may be hard with your busy schedule, but having fresh air, and a comfortable, clean bed will help. You also shouldn't be worrying about things the next day. Chances are you may have to leave things for the next day. Basically you should tackle as much as you can, and leave what you can't do. Don't let it cut into your sleep. You can manage your time so that you do enough to get by, and to sleep comfortably. As the pattern goes on, you will find yourself with more and more time to perfect these things, AND get enough sleep.

As for now, you've got a lot of work to do, and perhaps not a lot of time to do it in. I'd suggest maybe doing a basic outline that would get you by for tomorrow, and then not worrying about it and getting enough sleep. In the end, it doesn't matter how much work you do now if you're too tired to follow it up on the day. You can have both, but you have to negotiate a little.

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