LiveWire Network Peer Answers Peer Support Teen Forums Tech Forums College Forums 745 users online 172530 members 1756 active today Advertise Here Sign In
TeenCollegeTechPhotos | Quizzes | LiveSecret | Video | Dictionary | News | FAQ
You have 1 new message.
Emergency Help
Until you sign up you can't do much. Yes, it's free.

Sign Up Now
Membername:
Password:
Already have an account?
Invite Friends
Active Members
Groups
Contests
Moderators
6 online / 42 MPM
Fresh Topics
  LiveWire / Teen Forums / Friends & Family / Viewing Topic

What to do...
Should I tell?
Replies: 14Last Post Dec. 28, 2006 3:03pm by SimplisticComplexity
Single page for this topic Email Print Favorite
( kaylaisabadgerface )


Technician
Reply
Alright. I have a major confession that I need to tell my parents. I'm bisexual and I dont know how to tell my mom. I know that she will probably be more understanding than my dad, but I know that they will be so disappointed in me when, and or, if I tell them. I feel so bad because I have hidden it from them for so long, but I'm not sure on how to break it to them. They are like homophobes, and it bothers me. I have friends who are bisexual/lesbian and when my rents found out about them, they went insane. They kept telling me that they would freak out if I ever turned out to be gay. I was the entire time, but I didn't know how to tell them. Anyone got any ideas?

This may seem really dumb to some of you, but I would really appreciate a little help...

-------
You used to be all I wanted you to be, all that I needed you to be.


12:48 am on Dec. 28, 2006 | Joined Dec. 2006 | 13 Days Active
Join to learn more about kaylaisabadgerface Kentucky, United States | Bisexual Female | 130 Posts | 262 Points
NeeshaSays


Wealthy Hobo

Patron
Reply
Well, when you're in public with your folks, see a cute girl and go, "Look at that ass!"

I think they'd get the picture.


12:49 am on Dec. 28, 2006 | Joined Sep. 2006 | 223 Days Active
Join to learn more about NeeshaSays Haiti | Straight | 1958 Posts | 4656 Points
Meep123


Guru
Reply
If they love you, they will understand. Well maybe not understand, but atleast accept it.

-------
Fook meplz.

12:50 am on Dec. 28, 2006 | Joined Oct. 2006 | 517 Days Active
Join to learn more about Meep123 New York, United States | Straight Male | 13918 Posts | 22386 Points
Akis

Soothsayer

Patron
Reply
Being 'bisexual' doesn't seem like a very 'major' confession to me.

-------
Brush your teeth.

12:50 am on Dec. 28, 2006 | Joined Dec. 2006 | 275 Days Active
Join to learn more about Akis Georgia, United States | Metrosexual Female | 8228 Posts | 11371 Points
Blasphemous Cow

Wealthy Hobo

Patron
Reply
I, personally, would not tell them. If they can't accept you for who you are, they don't need to know.

-------
Bleached and blackened.

12:51 am on Dec. 28, 2006 | Joined Sep. 2006 | 165 Days Active
Join to learn more about Blasphemous Cow North Carolina, United States | Straight Male | 6283 Posts | 5383 Points
( kaylaisabadgerface )


Technician
Reply
Quote: from Akis at 12:50 am on Dec. 28, 2006

Being 'bisexual' doesn't seem like a very 'major' confession to me.


If you only knew my parents....

-------
You used to be all I wanted you to be, all that I needed you to be.


12:52 am on Dec. 28, 2006 | Joined Dec. 2006 | 13 Days Active
Join to learn more about kaylaisabadgerface Kentucky, United States | Bisexual Female | 130 Posts | 262 Points
Rastafarian


Yummu

Patron
Support Leader
Reply
Hmm... I've got a friend with much the same problem. It really sucks but just take support in your friends, and what they have to offer.

I would suggest taking it really slowly, kind of ease them into you telling them. If they can't handle the fact that you are bi, really that is no fault but their own, and they need to learn to accept you as who you are.

One thing I have definately learned is that sexuality does not define your personality, it just defines your sexual preferance. When you tell them try and explain to them that you are still their baby girl.

Just make the blow of telling them as soft as possible, such as telling your mom first since it seems she would most likely take it easier then your dad.

I can understand how this is really hard for you, as I said I've got a buddy going through almost the exact same thing right now.

Good Luck.
And feel free to Pm me if you need anyone to talk to.

-------
Danse Macabre.


12:52 am on Dec. 28, 2006 | Joined Sep. 2005 | 717 Days Active
Join to learn more about Rastafarian California, United States | 19230 Posts | 28770 Points
pan


Patient in meiner Psychiatrie

Patron
Reply
I feel the same way, sort of. I don't give a fuck what my dad would think at all, but my mom... is another thing. I'd like her to know. I just don't know if she's understand or accept it. My family is a little homophobic. =/

On the other hand, I feel that my sexuality isn't their business, and they don't need to know. Don't feel bad for not telling them. Sexuality is... a personal thing.

If you really want to tell them then tell them. It might be easier if you wrote it down as a letter or whatever, or you could give them a shock and bring home a girlfriend. ^_^

If they don't like it, if they do freak out then that is essentially their problem. I know it would hurt you that they'd have problems with it, but really if they're too narrow minded to accept their daughter who finds men and women attractive... well bugger them. They'll get over it in time.

-------
I watch you sleep in the still of the night.
              You look so pretty when you dream. :)


12:54 am on Dec. 28, 2006 | Joined Jan. 2005 | 877 Days Active
Join to learn more about pan Utah, United States | GLBT Ally Female | 16063 Posts | 27422 Points
( kaylaisabadgerface )


Technician
Reply
Quote: from NeeshaSays at 12:49 am on Dec. 28, 2006

Well, when you're in public with your folks, see a cute girl and go, "Look at that ass!"

I think they'd get the picture.



That's one way to do it. Haha.

-------
You used to be all I wanted you to be, all that I needed you to be.


12:54 am on Dec. 28, 2006 | Joined Dec. 2006 | 13 Days Active
Join to learn more about kaylaisabadgerface Kentucky, United States | Bisexual Female | 130 Posts | 262 Points
Lil Miss Blue Eyes


Soothsayer

Patron
Reply
Coming out to your parents can be intimidating and scary. Know that every family is different and there's no sure way of knowing how your parents will react. Generally, most parents go through these stages: shock, denial, guilt, expression of feelings, personal decision-making, true acceptance. This process, however, can take years, and not all parents will ever be accepting.

The best way to decide whether or not to talk with your mom is to ask yourself these questions:

Are you sure about your sexual orientation? Do you really want to declare it at this point in your life?


Are you comfortable with your sexuality?


Do you have the support of friends and family?


Are you knowledgeable about the challenges that are faced by people who belong to sexual minorities?


What's the emotional climate at home?


What's your motive for coming out now?


Do you have available resources to care for yourself if your parents decide not to because of your sexual identity?


Are you financially dependent on your parents?


What is your general relationship with your parents?


What are their views about sexual orientation?


Is coming out your own decision?


-------
If life is a waste of time,
and time is a waste of life,
then let's all get wasted together
and have the time of our lives.


12:55 am on Dec. 28, 2006 | Joined Sep. 2006 | 126 Days Active
Join to learn more about Lil Miss Blue Eyes England, United Kingdom | Bisexual Female | 8866 Posts | 11238 Points
Jay JWLH


Omnipotent One

Patron
Support Leader
Reply
If you know the truth does more damage than good, then why tell it? Seems they can't really handle the truth, so I don't think it would be in your or their best interest that you told them. If anything, keep it to a need to know basis, but otherwise don't tell them until you are older and it doesn't effect you so directly since you are under their care.

-------
My good people of LiveWire:
Dig For Fire (ClAcc) | littlenicky40 (DenServ) | Pan
galeharoldishot | CeramicFrog | iloveto | Girl19
HazelEyes (Mod) | Spasty

12:59 am on Dec. 28, 2006 | Joined Mar. 2006 | 365 Days Active
Join to learn more about Jay JWLH New Zealand | Straight Male | 10771 Posts | 17808 Points
Sweet Baby James


Dairy Product Addict
Reply
Your sexuality is your concern and not theirs. Its different later when you are older and then you are sure of it. For now I will suggest that you keep it to yourself.

-------
Just do it

1:01 am on Dec. 28, 2006 | Joined April 2006 | 149 Days Active
Join to learn more about Sweet Baby James South Africa | Straight Male | 98 Posts | 1607 Points
Poker Shark


Enlightened One

Ad Free
Reply
dont tell them.

1:13 am on Dec. 28, 2006 | Joined May 2006 | 360 Days Active
Join to learn more about Poker Shark Australia | Gay Male | 10497 Posts | 15217 Points
country bumpkin


Dairy Product Addict
Reply
I can't imagine what it'd be like for you but from past experience i'd tell your mum and see how it goes then mabey tackle your dad together.
My friend told his parents that he was gay about 7 years ago and his dads response was how much will it cost to fix it... but over time they seem to have accepted each other again it'll take time but it really will work out they'll just find out another way otherwise.

good luck :)

-------
You can't take back a word that's been said outloud...
But dam i wish you could sometimes :)


5:43 am on Dec. 28, 2006 | Joined Dec. 2006 | 166 Days Active
Join to learn more about country bumpkin Australia | Straight Female | 881 Posts | 2584 Points
SimplisticComplexity


Snickerdoodle

Patron
Support Leader
Reply
May I ask why you feel the "need" to tell your parents?  I don't know, I think sexuality is sort of a personal thing, and not everybody needs or want to know your sexual orientation.  You are what you are and you should be happy with it, but that doesn't mean that you have to tell your parents, especially if they aren't going to accept it.  

However, if you really want to tell them, perhaps writing a letter to them would make it easier on you.  Doing it face-to-face might be intimidating.  Or you can just take your mom aside, and tell her alone, and she can tell your dad.  Just know that no matter how disappointed they might be, they love you and they will get over it.  Of course, you don't have to tell them if you don't want to.

-------
...


3:03 pm on Dec. 28, 2006 | Joined Aug. 2006 | 649 Days Active
Join to learn more about SimplisticComplexity Antarctica | 3902 Posts | 24773 Points
Single page for this topic Email Print Favorite

Quick Reply

You are signed in as our guest.

Looking for something else?
 

  LiveWire / Teen Forums / Friends & Family / Viewing Topic