God, am I lonely... -- LiveWire Teen Forums

Hmm.. I don't really know how you feel, but regardless I will put in my two cent (as always) and hope that it helps.

I understand the loniliness. Feeling that there is no one out there for you, or no one that understands you. But having a boyfriend does not necessarily make that any better, its a total trust and openess issue. You do have people around that care and will try to help (like Dan and I.)

However, back to point. Loniliness... I know you aren't one to go out and find a boyffriend just to fill that hole, but I'll suggest against it anyways just to let you know that I don't think that just picking up any guy off the street is going to help you ,at all.

When you see people in happy relationships I can totally relate its like why can't I be there kinda deal. Well can I let you know one thing. Relationships are rarely as "happy" as they seem on the surface, I remember reading something awhile back saying that people in relationships who seem to be totally lovey dovey in public rarely are quite that good in private.

Yes, I can see how Christmas would be hard for you considering your situation.

Having to lie to keep yourself good in the eyes of your family would definately be one of the most hurtful things I'd ever have to do if I had to do it. Those kind of lies are much a vicious cycle, I've noticed in others and myself that when I continue these kind of lies they eat at my will power and how I identify myself... Seeing as how I don't see how that made much sense, I'll reword it.

Umm.. basically when you portray a lie or something fake or a mask to hide behind, its really hard to not use that mask or lie when trying to be honest.. its much like you become the lie kind of deal. Hmm... sometimes I don't know when I'm lying to people and when I'm not because I believe my own lies. Please don't get that far gone. Try and be honest whenever possible. I know you are good at arguing and making your case so I'd suggest you no longer agree with them so much, don't take their side. But due to your family issues also don't openly admit it... if you get what I'm saying.

Fp I have to say I think there is much more to you then just your homosexuality and having sex before marriage (which no one does anymore, so is therefore of little consequence.) So to say that you are bashing everything about yourself is untrue. There are many things about you that I'm sure your family is not bashing. Such as your personality, intelligence, and so on...

Anyways. I hope I helped. I don't really know what you mean by you snapping, but stick by your new years resolution. And no matter what buddy I'm here for ya.

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Danse Macabre.

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