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From: (Not Displayed) Received: 4:42 pm on Nov. 20, 2008 Return to Inbox
Subject: Last Chance
I have a problem which I don't know what to do with, in fact I don't know what my options are anymore. I was never good with choice anyway...

It all starts with my girlfriend; weve been together for 2 and a half years now and are exceptionally close, shes my best friend and we talk about everything.

She has an eating disorder; a really serious one that nobody but me knows about. She's been eating 100 calories a day but recently she showed improvement. As with many people with eating disorders she will refuse to get help and resorts to blackmailing me if I try to do something, She says that she will break up with me and I don't want her to be completely alone with this because it's tearing her apart.

The truth is, I have a problem to; I have a problem with short term memory and can not remember things beyond a few days, it's something that we only joke about; not on a serious level or anything.

She has asked me a series of times just to ask her how her eating is going once a day and just talk about anything worrying her, it's simple enough and I am completely happy to do it, especially if it helps my baby. The thing is my track record for remembering to do the world simplest task is terrible and today I forgot for the last time; 5 consecutive days. It doesn't sound long but she is going though a really hard time at the moment and I may have just been helping.

Now though; I have nothing. No friends to help and she's gone and quite frankly I'm worried to death about her. She's been known to do bad things in the past; overdose's and things. I probably sound like the worse person alive...sitting there watching my girlfriend do these things to herself, hell I feel like it but it's really not like that. If I did anything that would ruin it for us, I would be in trouble and she would be in even more so.

Right now I just don't know what to do, even if I got no replys from this at least I'm getting it out there.

I'm confused and would appreciate any bit of help, I feel so lost.

Thank You.

.

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It looks to me like both you and your girlfriend need to seek medical attention; you for your memory and her for her eating disorder.

As for the situation with your girlfriend goes, don't listen to any of her threats. She has a serious problem, and coming from experience, I'd advise you to get her help as soon as possible. When I had a friend with an eating disorder, she blackmailed me and threatened to end our friendship. She didn't mean it, she just felt as if she had no other option. It looks to be the same situation with your girlfriend. You said you two are close, so you're probably familiar with her family. Try talking to her parents one day alone and tell them about her eating habits and how worried you are. Chances are, she'll get the help she needs and she'll thank you in the end. If not, like you said, you put yourself out there and tried your best.

Your short term memory loss seems to be a huge problem between you and your girlfriend. Although you shouldn't have to remember her eating habits. You're not her keeper, and although you want to help her, she needs professional help too. Maybe you can work with her through her recovery, but you also need to take your health into consideration. You sound pretty young, and sometimes, us teens don't have the best memory. It  could be something far more serious, though. I'd definitely go get it checked out. I'm not a doctor, so I have no clue what this  could be a symptom of. I don't want to worry you, but since your lack of memory is really stressing you out, I'd go to a doctor as soon as possible.

Your girlfriend has a serious problem, and as much as you love her, you shouldn't feel guilty for it. You're trying to help her the best way you know how-by supporting her. Instead of allowing her to blackmail you, do the same to her if she refuses help. If she doesn't get the help she needs, tell her you won't be able to see her anymore. It's a tough thing for any girl, or guy for that matter, to go through, but eating disorders can be worked through.

I wish the best for you and your girlfriend. If you need anything, feel free to PM me.

Posted at 4:03 pm on Dec. 2, 2008

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